Mom friends

I am very thankful for the mom friends I have made in our mom's group at church. There are only a few of us but the older moms (grandmoms and great-grandmoms) who have visited our group as speakers are wonderful, too.

I have recently learned there is a common thread between mothers regardless of age or experience. I am surprised when these older women who I consider to be very 'churchy' (for lack of a better word) turn out to be women that I can relate to as mothers and as friends. I am far from what I would consider 'churchy' so I often feel quite flawed when first interacting with these older women. But, in spending time with them, I am discovering that we are all flawed and each deal with things in our own ways. They are not better mothers, friends, wives or women than I am...we are all just doing our own thing and doubting ourselves. We just have different areas of focus and doubt.

Today, an older woman from church joined us to share an idea that she is using with her grandsons during Advent this year. During her visit, she praised us for coming together for support and friendship and shared some of her most pressing struggles presently and from her past. Her husband (of 45-ish years) was diagnosed with Alzheimers 3 years ago and it is beginning to change him into a different person. She is having a terrible time with that. She also shared that she had a 5 week old daughter who died of spinal meningitis between her first and second boys...she has 3 boys. She cried about both of these situations with us. She hardly knows us...2 of our moms are casual acquaintances of hers from church and myself and the other mom are complete strangers to her. (Well, she and I recognize each other from services but nothing more than smiles and nods at that.) Her candor was surprising but perfectly understandable because she realizes what I am just learning...that we are all the same in more ways than we are different and we all care.

Of course, we care...we are mothers.