OB visit #2 for pregnancy #3

Just home from the OB.

Super OB elected to do an ultrasound to save us the worry if we couldn't hear the heartbeat on doppler yet since I am only 10w4d along. She saw the heartbeat but I for damn sure couldn't see crap on that thing. When she moved the magic wand to get a different angle, I saw the little one hopping all around and waving arms and kicking legs. Today we still have a baby.

I didn't feel happy or anything really. It was like it was happening to someone else. That's how this whole thing has been happening for me. All except for that delightful nausea...that's definitely happening to me. So, we made it through our 2nd appointment.

I go to the perinatalogist in a week and a half for the first trimester screen. So, if the baby is still alive for that. I will have another opportunity to see the little one boogie on the big screen. They have an awesome HD plasma screen at that office and that will be something interesting. Of course, I am not at all looking forward to what that will be like. I am going to keep my eyes closed until I get confirmation that I won't see another dead baby, lifeless and limp, on the big screen. That would be unbearable.

On another note, I got my flu shot today. The doctor recommended not waiting because the flu season is hitting hard and fast already and she thought that would be more dangerous to me and the little one than getting the shot today. I completely trust her. She would do nothing to me that would put the baby at risk after what we have experienced. And the nurse who gave me the flu shot kicked sweet ass! I didn't feel a thing but a tiny bit of warmth when she injected the vaccine. I wish they were all that good at delivering shots...I wouldn't be so hesitant if it were the case.

Paranoia can rest for the next 24 hours. I am giving myself only that long before doubt and fear creep back in. Until then, I will breathe and let it ride.